Reality Kicks

Just when I’m starting to enhance my fashion sense, reality enters the scene and kicks me big time.

No, I am not the type of creature with a tendency to invade the ramp. Nor do I have the killer looks or smile or pose. In fact, I have countless zits invading my façade, cavities tearing down my first tool of digestion, and body structure that seem to have osteoporosis. I am not being humble. I am being honest. Assets? Well, I have the height – not just any other height, but THE height. I think I also have the brain, because I graduated Class Valedictorian with numerous medals and certificates and awards. I am sociable, because despite my inability to look friendly, I still have my friends slash classmates who have such amazing patience, I should say, because they’ve gotten used to me, to my ways and to my personality. I used to live in harmony with all my liabilities, because I thought my assets would somehow compensate these flaws. But there comes a sudden point in your life when you think you’ve had enough of all those stares, of all those murmurs about how out-of-fashion I am, those inferiorities you feel when you’re with “fashion” people, all of these I consider as a defeat. And I hate being defeated. There will always come a point in your life that you can say that intelligence or cleverness, for the first time, wouldn’t count, but your ability to cope with what the society dictates, in this case, fashion and beauty.

I know, I shouldn’t let them get into me blah blah. I know that life is unfair, and that you couldn’t have everything blah blah. But I also know of the saying that ‘If you cant beat them…’ No, I wouldn’t join them, if that’s what you’re thinking. I somehow made minor changes to it, and in my universe, it ends with ‘rule them’. I do not necessarily join them, but lead them, because I’ll become a hybrid. I can be ironic in the sense that I can be an intellectual and the person the society dictates.

So this sudden change in me started just this New Year. You remember what I told you about the inferiority thing? It reaches its maximum when I’m with my sisters. Yep, they are the fashionistas of the family. When we’re together, I look like their driver or boy or something. What, with my bleak appearance and my resistance to conform to the society, who wouldn’t think so? So I was thinking, maybe spending a little on some creams and ‘beauty products’ and some apparels should do the trick. And so I bought this whitening this, and moisturizing that and exfoliating this, and cool that and reversible this. And then it gradually became frenzy. I can’t leave a mall without even visiting those boutiques which I used to despise. I window-shop, yeah,. But there were really times when I could suddenly feel this urge to splurge. After spending, I would feel remorse and start to think why I gave in and stuff.

So you were actually wondering what’s reality got to do with this? Well, simple. I am broke. No, bankrupt. Insolvent. Penniless. Solvent. Whatever you call it. Seems like the universe is playing tricks on me. Now that I’m starting to care about my looks and all it is also the time when I realize that I cannot afford this and that.

Bottom line is that you really can’t have it all. Maybe that’s the reason why we’re given with a brain with two-sides, the right to give empirical reasons to almost everything, and the left-side to compensate what the other can’t explain. So wander, left-part of my brain. I guess I still could be the hybrid in my dreams.

So we actually talked about our future kids. A friend, who we’ll call starting today as Narcissus, opened up this conversation, and he was saying the names of his would-be kids, that they would be twins and that he wouldn’t stop until he doesn’t get one. Unbelievable, I know. I know he’s joking and all, but the thought…

My conservative friend, PurpleHater blurted her concerns on Narcissus would-be wife, “What if she tells you to stop?” And then Narcissus would just say, “So I’ll look for another one.” Unbelievable squared.

Since this is my world, I can only assume that they would really ask me about the names of my kids. To accomplish this mission, they started to joke that I would name my kids Debit or Credit, since I was reading an Accounting Book. N even said I’d name one of my kids Liability. That would be unfair to my child. But I’d like to assume that she is the most beautiful among my kids. And then N added that another child would be named Fully Depreciated. I commented that she would be the most virgin of my kids, and that she would be a nun to prove her chastity. Now I was beginning to think that I am slowly acting as a father, that even before they were born, I am already defending them. Great.

Bu seriously, I really want to name my boy child Johan, pronounced as “yow-han”. Or maybe Raphael, as in “raf-fei-el”. If she would be a she, then maybe Angel.

They say women are better name-picker that males. If by male, they refer to N, then maybe they were right. Otherwise, uhm, I dunno.

di ko alam kung anong gagawin ko ngayon. wala na talaga akong pera actually. kaya nga di nako kumain kasi ayokong gumastos tapos ngayon, nag iinternet ako. tsk tsk. ilang araw na kasi akong di nakakapag internet eh. grabe talaga. masyado lang akong toxic these past few weeks. masyado lang akong ginagawa kasi very busy ako sa pag-aaral ko ngayon. grabe.

anyway. ewan. mababaliw nako.

bye ^^

it sucks

i kinda thought of another screen name or pseudoname or whatever name. its TIM ANG, the series. *laughs*

its cute, you know. just like what BOB ONG has.

on the other hand, i can't even think that i can sustain that blogsite again. ^^

randomness

can't think of anything to write.

im here at my mom's office. yeah. it's already like 9:15 pm. we're having a graveyard shift. im not really an employee here. my mom just got no company so i volunteered to be her company for, uhmm, i really dont know till when.

anyway. since i got a chance to use one of the computers here,i decided to check my mails, my accounts in some online community sites, and browse and do some information digging.

it's kinda boring in here. but i think this is the best night so far. because in the previous nights, i haven't got an access to any computer. so it was more like me and my mp4 and my cellphone buddy in a bed made of inter-connected chairs. actually, its just a borrowed mp4. *laughs*

financial constraint really is our main problem in the family. and whenever this topic's brought up, it gets kinda boring since it's like one of the many dilemma of a typical filipino family.

im not really sure if i could continue my schooling this second year. i mean, yeah, i applied for a tuition assistance but i dont give it much thought because i know they wont be of any help. all they can do is try to scutinize your life, look for faults and flaws, and then assign you to a certain bracket which they consider as "cheap" already. they just dont give a damn on what is really our current situation. we can't even afford to buy my way to the university everyday. we dont even have a decent place to call home since we only live with my relatives.

the heck with them. my relatives couldn't help because they also have their own personal financial constraint problem and stuff.

talking about relatives, i am having this kind of bad relationship with one of my cousins. i dont know. i just hate him. his mere face or existence or presence or voice, or smell, or even shadow make my blood boil. better not talk about him.

anyway. i am actually browsing this site called "vote for the worst" dot com. *laughs* the objective was kinda amusing. the settings, the people, the comments, the whole stuff you know. the concept behind the site, everything. it's kinda cute. but i wondered, did they really hate american idol that much that they set up a site to destroy the reality show? tsk tsk.

i think that's for now. i am hoping that the internet connection in the house will be back. i kinda missed the usual things i do whenever i surf the net. i dont enjoy doing this in this very computer that im using because it's kinda old stuff. i wanna download better, or maybe the latest softwares in town, but i guess i should not do that because the company may sue me.

good nyt ya all. ^^

Hedonism

I was raised with the idea that there’s a reason behind everything that beyond a reason lays another deeper, and universal reason. I say universal because that certain reason doesn’t only apply to some individuals, but to everyone in general. I don’t have an idea what that certain reason is, until I stumbled upon a term I have yet to know – Hedonism. What is it? And what does it have to do with human actions?
Hedonism originated from the Greek word hedonismos or hedone which literally means pleasure. As defined by Catholic Encyclopedia, it is the name given to the group of ethical systems that hold, with various modifications, that feelings of pleasure or happiness are the highest and final aim of conduct; that, consequently those actions which increase the sum of pleasure are thereby constituted right, and, conversely, what increases pain is wrong.
First of all, let us define or state the scope of the word “pleasure”. Pleasure is commonly conceptualized as a positive experience related to happiness, entertainment, enjoyment, ecstasy, and euphoria. The father of Hedonism, Aristippus of Cyrene, defines pleasure as something that is not only limited to sensual gratification but also the higher forms of enjoyment, mental pleasures, domestic love, friendship, and moral contentment. In Philosophy, it is defined as the absence of pain. So, anything that pertains to experiences or feelings that are painless are considered as pleasure. Pain, on the other hand, includes all unpleasant feeling or experience such as aches, throbs, irritations, anxiety, anguish, chagrin, discomfort, despair, grief, depression, guilt and remorse. The latter is the negation of the former.
The basic idea behind the hedonistic thought is that pleasure is the only thing that is good for man. It is man’s everyday goal, that is, in every action or activity he does, the reason behind those activities is the realization or achievement of pleasure. It is true that the philosophy suggests that we should pursue our own pleasure, but it doesn’t mean that we should live a life of selfishness; that we should only hinder others from arriving to that same objective.
So when does hedonism become morally ethical?
The fact that the end-product of every man’s activity, as what the thought implies, is the achievement of the doer’s pleasure is already ethical. But, let us not be deceived by the statement’s ambiguity because it is also a fact that one can be happy by the mere reason that some suffer, especially the ones they call enemies.
John Stuart Mill’s and Jeremy Bentham’s philosophy on Utilitarianism states that we should perform whichever action is best for everyone. When this concept is conjoined with the concept of Hedonism, it yields this concept: all action should be directed toward achieving the greatest amount of happiness for the greatest number of people. I could infer that whenever we do things or perform any action, it should result to, not only in the achievement or realization of the doer’s pleasure, but also to the benefit or the realization of the pleasures of the majority. Hedonism, in this manner, becomes morally ethical since ‘selfishness’ is eliminated.
This concept could also be conjoined with Sigmund Freud’s Psychological Egoism. Freud’s philosophy states that man is motivated to pursue what is good for them. Therefore, Psychological Hedonism states that “agents” naturally seek pleasure. Hedonism can also be combined with ethical egoism - the claim that individuals should seek their own good - to make ethical hedonism the claim that we should act so as to produce our own pleasure. We know that Freud is known for his idea that sexual desire is the primary motivational force every human has. And that “sexual desire” is a form of pleasure. Freud’s philosophy, by its very essence, is an example of how hedonism works.
The church also has its own view of Hedonism. The idea behind Christian Hedonism is that humans are created for the sole purpose of enjoying God through knowing, praising and serving Him. The concept entails that pursuing one’s happiness in God is the ultimate in human pleasure; that the highest pleasure is regarded as something which is long term, and not found in indulgence but in a life devoted to God. This form of hedonism is blatant among priests and other church workers who devoted their lives in serving God. But one cannot be a priest or a nun just to serve God. One can achieve the ‘pleasure’ in serving Him just by living a normal life and maintaining a good social relationship.
The concept of hedonism is too broad for this paper to cover. I have just stated some important highlights about this topic. The concept of Hedonism has been defined. If we are to reflect on the activities that we do everyday, we can say that indeed, the concept of hedonism is somehow valid. We study, because we want to land a stable job, and eventually, gain money which will be used to sustain our daily needs. And the sustainment of such needs means fulfillment of pleasure. Because it is a pleasure to feed ourselves, to sleep, to be clean, to bathe. Well, that’s based on my point of view, at least. Because the idea of pleasure or the thing that gives pleasure depends on the person, depending on what makes him happy. Some may find pleasure on material things – jewelry, signature clothes, designer perfume, and the like. Some sees happiness in doing church works – the priests and nuns and pastors --, some in emotional aspects – being loved and cared upon. It only means that the pursuit of happiness depends on each person. This also includes the fact that people differ in terms of what makes them happy, and to what degree of pleasure or happiness they are experiencing. We must not also let ourselves be blinded by this concept. Like any other philosophies, this has also its own weaknesses. But this paper only focuses on how this philosophy is related to man’s actions. It is also important to note that the thought of achieving pleasure as the by-product of every activity is a very motivating aspect. If we’ll think that what we’re doing is something that makes us happy, it invigorates us in a way that we strive harder or do better in our endeavors, which makes it a positive asset to human progress

Life after Death

Is there life after death? Theists believe there is. Atheists, Agnostics and some philosophies say otherwise. Members of non-theistic religions such as Buddhism believe in reincarnation. But is there really is life after death?
Plato, in his Dialogues of Plato, defines death as the separation of soul and body. He believes that true philosophers live for the sake of dying – that is, philosophers must live thinking about the death they deserve and then spends the rest of his life preparing for it for him to obtain the greatest good in the other world after he dies. He also stated that our body is a source of endless trouble, making us impure and thus, increases the need of the soul to be separated for it to be purified. For he also believed that one can only find wisdom in his purity. Based on his thoughts, I can infer that he believes in life after death for he believes in the separation of the soul from the body and that there can be no life without soul. But the problem with his statements is this: Where do the souls go when they get separated from the body?
On the other hand, David Hume doesn’t believe in afterlife. He believed that everything is common between soul and body, that the organs of the one are all of them the organs of the other. Therefore, the existence of the one must be dependent on the other. He believed that nothing in this world is everlasting or perpetual, and that includes the body and soul. Thus, he believed that there’s no life after death. But we know that one thing leads to another. So, if afterlife doesn’t exist, how come the thought of it existed? Was it just imagination? We know that the mind cannot produce an idea without a basis. So where does the idea of afterlife came from?
Immortality means immunity from death. And this is what Soren Kierkegaard believed. He stated in his Concluding Unscientific Postscripts that immortality couldn’t be proved at all. That the fault does not lie in the proofs but in the fact that people will not understand that this question is nonsense. He believed that immortality is subjective. But then again, people differ in beliefs. So, simply put, there’s no absolute or general answer to the question.
*Philosophical Problems, pages 223-232.

I am Alia Atreides

Which Dune Character Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Alia Atreides You are Alia Atreides. Despite feeling that you sometimes live in someone else?s shadow, you are powerful, a leader, but you can sometimes give into temptation. Alia Atreides 100% Irulan 92% Duncan Idaho 83% Leto Atreides II 83% Paul Atreides 67% Prince Farad'n 67% Baron Harkonnen 58% Ghanima Atreides 58% Lady Jessica 58% Chani 42%